Blog Identity Crises + Sponsorship

November 4, 2012

I'm having a blog identity crises of sorts which explains the lack of posting on my part. Well, that and a few other reasons.

I was laid off from my job as a full-time web designer a couple of weeks ago. I've been working as an independent contractor for a popular blog design company for about a month or so now so, financially, I'm doing just fine but I've been super busy focusing my time on those projects now to make sure I can bring in a fairly regular income for myself.

I've had a few people contact me for blog designs. If that's you, I know, I haven't written you back. I've received your email, I read it, I meant to write back and then I got busy and forgot. You'll hear from me soon, I promise. If you've found someone else by then - no worries! If you haven't, I look forward to talking with you soon :)

I hate my domain/blog name. I feel like it's too fluffy and I'm not a fluffy person to be quite honest. I feel like I can't be honest and raw in some of my posts because sometimes things I want to say aren't so "darling." I don't want to quit blogging, I just want a blog that reflects me and what I do perfectly so I've been trying to brainstorm some things and figure out where I want to be.

Last but not least... and I'm saving it for last because it's something that has bugging me but it's something that may offend others. I don't want it to, so hopefully you will understand where I'm coming from. I hate sponsors. There, I said it. Okay, I don't necessarily hate it, but... let me explain. First of all, I LOVE visiting tons of blogs and from there, visiting their sponsors. I've found my absolute favorite blogs that way and I still do it - all the time. So, if you are sponsoring a blog to gain new readers or whatever reason, don't stop! It's working. I promise there are tons of people like me who "blog hop" this way. There's absolutely nothing wrong with sponsoring a blog or offering sponsorship. Your blog is property, it's valuable and it should be seen as such, especially if you have a large and loyal following. My problem is, I was a blogger back in the old days (ha!). I was a blogger back in the day where you promoted your friends and blogs you loved just for the sake of loving them. You wanted to promote your friends! Now, it sort of feels fake to me. You sponsor a blog, they give you a shout out about how awesome and amazing your blog is, but they don't even follow you back on GFC (or Bloglovin, or Hellocotton, or whatever). If they love your blog so much, why don't they follow it? Or comment? Or interact with you on social media?

I'll continue to sponsor blogs that I like because like I said, I don't think there's anything wrong with it in general and I want to support people who spend a good amount of their time creating content for me to read and enjoy. But, personally, it's not for me. I don't feel right asking other bloggers to give me money to display their blogs on my sidebar, especially if I'm not going to update EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And I can't promise to do that because I have to work for a living and I have a child to raise who deserves my attention. I don't think it would be fair to other bloggers to accept their money and then go a week without blogging. I don't have the luxury of sitting at home all day doing whatever I want. If I did, of course I'd post everyday! I love blogging! I WISH I had more time for it and I envy those who do.

If I like your blog I'll grab your button (or ask you if you have one in a size I need) and I'll put it on my sidebar. I'll continue to offer some sort of paid sponsorship for BUSINESSES and I'll continue to offer (free) Sponsor Swaps but I will not be accepting money from bloggers in general. I just don't think it's right for me or my blog and I have to stay true to who I am. I'll be updating my Sponsor page to reflect these changes within the next day or two so if you try to purchase ad space, it will probably be kept "pending approval" until I get this all figured out.

If you do accept sponsors, please don't think I am criticizing you in any way. I understand the value of a blog, trust me; especially if your blog is your source of income. However, it's not mine and it's not intended to be. Blogging is purely a hobby for me so I don't feel like making money off it from other bloggers is right for me at this time.


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  2. I can't wait to see the savvy name you come up with! I can relate with the crisis, you see me changing my username every week. lol I just bought a new domain name, I hope this gets me back to blogging. I miss this scene.

  3. I can't wait to see what new name you come up with! I like the current one, but I know what you mean about wanting to change.. Since I just changed mine as well. I'm sorry to hear about your job and I hope they pick you back up soon. You seem to like it there.

  4. Hello Kendra!

    I've been reading your blog silently for a pretty long time, and now it's first time I'm leaving a comment here.

    First thing I want to say is that completely agree with you. When I started my blog a year ago, I didn't even know what sponsoring a blog means, what ad swaps are and so on.

    And then, I soon realized that I would have to pay other bloggers for a little spotlight, and I wasn't happy about it, so I have quit on that.

    Even my readership is growing day by day, I don't want to demand money for anyone who wants their and ad spot on my blog. I just don't want to! Passionfruit ads company has even contacted me to do so, and I declined. I love swapping with blogs I LOVE and CARE about.

    And when it comes to changing your name, I honestly like it the way it is. Even though you maybe think that you don't fit it, but my opinion is that you do! I really like the whole feeling when I come to this blog, and all the stories that you tell! Everyone has an identity crisis, even I had one (, but when you realize how many people support you and sincerely love what you do then it passes very soon!

    Happy Sunday!

    Love, Aleksandra.

  5. Oh Kendra, I didn't know you were laid off! I'm sorry :( I know you always talked about wishing you could stay home with Aiden more and maybe this is a blessing in disguise... but still, it's never an easy pill to swallow. I wish you the best of luck in your independent work! And thank you for being so real about the whole sponsorship thing, because I couldn't agree more. I don't mind making money through ads or whatnot but I don't think it's fair for people to have to pay me to put their face on my blog. I want to put your banner on my blog because I like you, not because you paid me. Sigh! Maybe that'll change in the future but for now, I am with you on your stance.

  6. O my goodness. I could not agree more about sponsors! It all seems so staged and forced...I don't like the idea of paying someone to say nice things about me...I know a lot of bloggers do it "right" but sometimes its just too much fakeness.

  7. Well, this post has a whole lot of point in it. I love that you're completely honest here and I appreciate it because almost everyone can relate to this. blogging shouldn't be a planned, one-way, thing. blogging is about being who you are and finding more about yourself by journaling your every-day life (even though we don't post every single day). i found (paid) sponsors really funny at first because i thought it would be a total waste of bucks to pay someone on the internet to have a slight chance on earning followers. we sponsor the blogs we love, not the blogs we want money from. thank you for sharing this with us :) p.s. i wish you the very best of luck with your job. you're really good at what you do! xx

  8. hi kendra!

    i totally agree. my first blog was in 2007, and then i was really big into blogging in 08, 09... then i took some time off and then got back into it recently and it isn't the same! i mean, i guess it's just harder to find people that are genuine, and not just trying to promote themselves? like one thing that irks me is when someone just comments, "great post-want to follow each other?" it seems really insensitive, i guess. i've thought about sponsoring other blogs, to get the word out about my own blog, because also today as a blogger, as opposed to 4 years ago, it's so much harder to get yourself out there. but, i really want to know my readers and stuff... so i try to leave long and thoughtful comments to actually get to know them, and start conversation, instead of just "great shoes!" or something. i wouldn't be bothered putting ads up on my blog, if it was blogs that i reflected my taste. there are a lot of bloggers that don't post every day and still have a lot of sponsors, and i think the sponsors are well aware of the idea that the blogger they are sponsoring may not post every day that they have an ad up.

    anyway... i'm sorry that you've been laid off. such a bummer. do you have any ideas for changing your blog name? i wish i could help more. it's so cute you have a 5 year old son. i have a 2 1/2 year old son :)

    good luck with your rebranding! can't wait to see/hear what you come up with.

    glad to have discovered your blog, kendra. xox

  9. these are the kind of post that make me stay to learn more about the blogger. you are honest and open about your postition on the blogsphere

    sorry to hear that you got laid off from your work. hope you find something soon.

    some bloggers are lucky to make money from the blog but some others, just like me and you, blog people is an outlet to interect with other people.

    i like your blog and looking forward to your new brand.

  10. I haven't blogged in so long, when I did there was no such thing as sponsors and such! I don't think I like it too much. Maybe for businesses, but not for personal blogs!!

    Which reminds me, I already linked yours up! :)

    I like everyone else can't wait to see what name you come up with. You are so talented and creative I'm sure it will be great!

  11. What you switch it up a tiny bit and call it The sometimes darling blog- that way if you want to get raw, feisty, silly.. etc... its not 100% fluff =)

  12. I seriously had the same issue with sponsors last month!

  13. I completely agree with you! I was noticing on my favorite blogs that they sponsor these blogs but do not follow them. I'm pretty sure they don't even read them! It is very fake! Sponsor your FRIENDS. Tell me what blogs you actually read, not the ones that paid you! Frustrating. What platform do you use to follow your favorite Blogs? I am having a hard time finding one I like.

  14. I had a major blog identity crisis too and it resulted in me changing it. I was super scared at first because I lost all of my faithful followers and RSS feed subscribers. But now I feel relieved! I know that you will find an awesome new blog name that fits your perfectly!

  15. I'm always having a blog identity crisis lol. I hope you guys are doing okay! Was just stopping by to say I was thinking about you!!!

  16. Hey there.. hope you'll come back and blog. I just found your blog by searching for the Mexico Chiquto recipe and realized this is a nice blog. I hope everything is going well.

    Take care!

    the Sassy Fit Mom

  17. lady - i just found your blog and i am in love. FYI. good luck on working through your blog crisis. i'm excited to see what you come back with!

  18. Im always trying to figure out what i want to do with my blog. I have new ideas all the time but I rarely take time out to make changes. I need to start though. I'm one of your newest followers. I would love for you to follow me back

  19. I so agree with the whole sponsor thing!


  20. What about doing some Clarity Coaching with Monica Lee. She has this way to help you put it all in perspective.

    It's toally okay to start over. I did and have found it to be SO worth all the heartache and effort.

    Once you find your true voice, you'll never go back.

  21. I do think your blog is darling, but look forward to the new face you come up with. I just found you today, actually, and so glad that I did! I just love the way you write and your honesty. It's refreshing. I wholeheartedly agree with your view on sponsors. I thought about offerring ad space on the blog and just can't seem to feel comfortable with it either. It's a hobby for me, and a way for me to share myself with the world, but not something that I have time or energy to monetize. Good luck with the new blog design/name/etc. I'm sure it will be awesome! Great to digitally meet you! :)

  22. I completely understand where you're coming from on sponsorship. A month or so ago I decided to completely do away with sponsors and sponsoring other blogs all together- and then I changed my mind and went full force with it by setting up a Passion Fruit account, etc. I still haven't found the right schedule for myself as far as featured sponsor posts, guest posts, etc. go and sometimes I feel like I'm failing at my content. But having sponsors gives me a bit of motivation to create better content and to blog more often. I guess I like the accountability aspect of it.

    I love your blog, by the way! I can't wait to see what new name you go with.


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