Rome wasn't built in a day.

February 20, 2012

Do you ever catch yourself looking at all of the shiny cars, freshly built homes, and expensive clothes your friends post on Facebook and wonder what in the hell you did wrong? When did your life goals and plans go so astray? Why don't you have that?

I do. A lot. I have a really bad habit of comparing myself to others; to the extent of dwelling on what I DON'T have so much I start to make myself feel miserable. In high school, I wanted to be a CRNA (Nurse Anesthetist). I never had any doubts about whether or not I would be accepted into the local university's Nursing program or Nurse Anesthetist program. I just knew that's what I would do with my life. It's what I wanted to do. And then life happened. It's funny how life has much different plans for itself than you do. If things went the way I always thought they would, I would have graduated last May as a CRNA making about $120,000+ a year. I usually have to force myself not to think about this because it nearly makes me sick to my stomach when I do.

And now, I am almost 25 years old, my 10 year high school reunion is 3 years away and I keep wondering what I have to show for myself. I live in a two bedroom apartment with my four year old son and when I'm not receiving child support, I barely make ends meet.

I get bummed when I think about my current situation but in reality, I'm still young. I do have a child, which adds on extra expenses that my child-less counterparts don't have but even then, I still do better than a lot of people my age so it could be worse. My parents were 28 and 29 when I was born and I can still vaguely remember when they didn't have a lot. It just takes time, I know. It's easy to get impatient or to think everything should just fall in your lap right when you want it to. I can remember when they were able to afford us a nice, large home and how excited they were to be able to do that for my sister and me but also how proud of each other they were. They both worked hard to get there and they couldn't have done it without each other.

Sometimes I forget I'm just one income. I always think "MY PARENTS DIDN'T GO TO COLLEGE AND THEY MADE GOOD MONEY! IT'S NOT FAIR!" then I remember that they were like 35 before happened and there were two of them. Like they say, Rome wasn't built in a day but part of it was. I may not be my definition of comfortable next year but I think things will come together eventually; exactly when it's supposed to and I'll appreciate it a hell of a lot more than I probably would have otherwise.


  1. The internet breeds this kind of inferiority complex in us. ESPECIALLY in women. All you can do is lead the best possible life you can and forget the rest. Keeping in mind that not everything you see tells an entire story :)

  2. I feel the same way. Then I kick myself because ontop of the career I wanted, I did want a huge family (with 8 kids might i add - WHAT was I thinking?) and although I have my huge family, I don't have the career I wanted.. so what the heck am I going to do when they are all in school? Well who knows! But we're still young...

    I think you do amazingly well, and I often read your tweets or posts and think how lucky YOU are, and how happy you always seem! So that says something! I think you are doing amazing, and like you said you are still young! You have a ton of life ahead of you, and you are one of the smartest women I've come across (online or IRL) so you will do great! Be proud of yourself, and everything you do for you and that little boy! :)

    Also, 3 years until your 10 year? gosh, if my high schools around here did reunions I'd die.. they'd be now! :/

  3. I definitely understand feeling like you're always comparing yourself to others. I do the same thing all the time and sometimes I'll catch myself & stop, but usually I just do it and am completely unaware. It really does make you feel like less of a person when you compare everything you have with that of someone else. It sounds like you have the right attitude about it, though!

    When I stumbled upon your blog, after looking around at your "About Me" and your photos, I thought to myself, wow, that's a lucky girl, she's beautiful & has a handsome son! Oh and her blog is gorgeously designed! :)

    I think it's important to remember what you do have and be thankful for what you do have. :)


  4. I always read your posts, but I just had to comment on this one and tell you that everyone struggles with this, no matter our age, how many kids we have, income, etc. I am already past my 15-year-high-school-reunion mark (yikes!!) and I'm still trying to find a balance between kids, home, and pursuing my own interests. We're still working on getting out of debt and I am really working hard to get that part of my life in order, but I have to remember how blessed I am to have healthy, happy children who love me and a husband who supports me always. You son is just aodrable, and you are an amazing mom. Just think of how you have changed and influenced his life in the past few years (when you could have been on the path to become a CRNA)... you are his everything and 15 years down the road, you'll have those things you desire PLUS an amazing young man who is ready to go out and conquer the world. Because of you. Don't give up. You have so many blessings coming your way!

    oh, and p.s. we are slackers and never got back to you about our blog design cuz our lives got totally insane that week. But I still want to talk to you about it so I'll send you an email soon!!!

  5. I know that often I can get caught up looking at other people's supposed "perfect" life... but lets be honest, we don't REALLY know their situations. They could be swimming in credit card debt for all we know. As much as I'd love to have a huge house, a massive walk-in closet and drive a nicer car... I don't. My husband and I have other priorities like paying off our student loan debt before we start our family. It's smart not to live above or beyond your means.... You seem like a great momma, keep your chin up! :)

  6. I feel the same way as you sometimes. That's part of why I don't really go onto Facebook, because I don't want to see photos of all my "friends" living their lives and I'm not! Of course I am, but I always feel like it hasn't really started yet. And I'm 26! It has to have started by now!!
    But you know, you're a Mom, and you have a son. You've been doing such hard work, and you shouldn't beat yourself up for it. I'm not a Mom, I'm a Nanny, but I have been one for a long time, and I know the things you may be going through!
    I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job, and you're doing the best you can do. That's more than a lot of people can say.

  7. You know, this is exactly how I feel. I am going to be 28 years old and I am a single mother of 4 boys and I feel so uncomplete sometimes, because I have no idea what to do with my life... like I know there should be something more. I have a desk job, an AA degree, and I'm still working on my BA and undecided on changing my major... I should be in an occupation I love and making bunch of money for my sons... but I am not. So I understand what you are feeling. The best we can do is to just focus on our family and make the best of what we have...

  8. How did I miss this?! I really said farewell to blogging recently and took a bit of a break and missed some entries. So apologies! lol. I feel exactly the same way you do, regarding this post. I have to keep reminding myself that it's going to take some time. Every thing takes time. Which is crappy when you want everything now lol

  9. I think everyone thinks that way at some point. You see things that people have that maybe you wish you did, but maybe they are thinking the same thing about you. We forget that for the most part...people don't post the tough times in their lives. You post pictures of happy times, fun times, etc. Most people don't post that they lost their job and are living in their parents basement. Sometimes, facebook is like an illusion. We let people see what we want them to see. I definitely understand where you are coming from. I get jealous of the stay-at-home moms and everyone having lots of babies and wondering if and when that is going to be me. Just think how people are envious of you. You are a great mom, with a great head on your shoulders and a beautiful little boy. You have a lot going for you. So be proud, and think of that every single day when you wake up! Things take time and as long as you stay positive, EVERYTHING can happen!!!

  10. Yes, I often feel this way. I feel this way quite often and could have written this post myself. I think one thing to keep in mind is that things are not always as they appear. Some people look like they have it all, but they really don't and others have a lot, but paid a high price to get it. I am a single mom too, so I definitely relate to you. What keeps me grounded is my four year old son and how happy he is. He wouldn't care if we lived in a card board box as long as we had each other. Now getting back to you, always remember that a lot of successful people have stories that are more like yours. The struggle and then the ascension to the next level. When you reach your dreams you will bave humility and that can only come from living your life as you live it on the way to your dreams.

  11. I feel the same way sometimes. I think everyone does at one point or another.


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